1. Today I took a road trip to 2001.

    Today I took a road trip to 2001.

  2. Finally, somebody that cares as much about the puppy cam as I care about the puppy cam.

    Finally, somebody that cares as much about the puppy cam as I care about the puppy cam.

  3. Land of the free and the home of the fucking losers. This Country sucks.


link.

    Land of the free and the home of the fucking losers. This Country sucks.

    link.

  4. We like the keep exactly one spot in the back of our fridge at subzero.

    We like the keep exactly one spot in the back of our fridge at subzero.

  5. Puppy cam update

    Puppy cam update

  6. There’s a 24/7 live puppy cam on apl.tv so now I can cancel cable.

    There’s a 24/7 live puppy cam on apl.tv so now I can cancel cable.

  7. That American Express commercial where Tina Fey eats a bunch of potpourri and is too high to know which side of the card actually makes the payment.

    That American Express commercial where Tina Fey eats a bunch of potpourri and is too high to know which side of the card actually makes the payment.

  8. Oh how the tables have turned.

    I could make a gifset to illustrate this better, but I’m a man and that makes me lazy.

    Several weeks ago when the female celebrities’ iCloud accounts were hacked and pictures were leaked, it was all over the news and people were appalled.

    We watch “Wendy Williams” basically every day by accident because we don’t change the channel for hours after the news ends. The day after the breach of course Wendy brought it up as the camera scanned the audience. The look of disgust and horror on the largely female audience was palpable. I believe her words were “a blatant violation of privacy.”

    Yesterday on the “Wendy Williams” show during hot topics Wendy said “the iCloud hacks have spread to include men!” as once again the camera scanned the largely female audience. The audience clapped and cheered with smiles ear to ear. Wendy then revealed that it was Hulk Hogan’s son, Nick. The audience quieted with “ewww” looks on their faces.

    It’s funny how men and women are the same, but nobody talks about women being equally disgusting pigs.

  9. We have two female dogs

    They have this dominance thing where they both feel like they need to leave their scent on top of the others’. So usually when they go outside the one that has to go the worst goes first while the other waits in line right behind her so that as soon as she’s done she can pee on top. Occasionally one of them gets smart enough to save a little reserve piss and she’ll loop around to finish the job after the original pee-on-topper finishes.

    Bitches be crazy.

  10. I’m sad that this is what she considers a “morning blowie” now that we’re married but at least I got a new LinkedIn profile picture out of it.

    I’m sad that this is what she considers a “morning blowie” now that we’re married but at least I got a new LinkedIn profile picture out of it.

  11. Been back on twitter for 24 hours and already experiencing the supernatural

    Been back on twitter for 24 hours and already experiencing the supernatural

  12. acertainculdesac:

sexting

Fuck yeah it does

    acertainculdesac:

    sexting

    Fuck yeah it does

    (via acertainculdesac-deactivated201)

  13. I hate how people call me grandma when I talk about my coupons

    It’s like bitch you just jealous of my big pimpin money savin swag

  14. Shopping Rewards

    Get the fuck outta my face with your 100 points equals one cent bullshit. You have 20,000 points! By the way, don’t spend all $2.00 of your rewards on one candy bar.

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