1. I’m a professional wall painter/pot smoker. Just kidding, I’m a website developer, look at how girly my hands are.

    I’m a professional wall painter/pot smoker. Just kidding, I’m a website developer, look at how girly my hands are.

  2. btothed:

This is heavy, Doc.

There’s that word again, heavy. Why is everything so heavy in the future? Is there something wrong with the earth’s vegetational consumption?

    btothed:

    This is heavy, Doc.

    There’s that word again, heavy. Why is everything so heavy in the future? Is there something wrong with the earth’s vegetational consumption?

    (Source: dnabars)

  3. Finally, something useful.

    Finally, something useful.

  4. I wish I would have known they were lesbians before I spent all that money on a second bed.

    I wish I would have known they were lesbians before I spent all that money on a second bed.

  5. Walking with muscular dystrophy is swag city.

  6. jamiwithani:

Hi I’m here for the Arcade Fire

You can’t see her but Amanda’s hunched over the bar in the background ordering another drink #edgellace

    jamiwithani:

    Hi I’m here for the Arcade Fire

    You can’t see her but Amanda’s hunched over the bar in the background ordering another drink #edgellace
  7. jamiwithani:

    "Only gays and retards go by their full name, ever notice that?"

    -most definitely not me

    Daniel, Richard, Michael, Jeffrey, Jonathan, Lucas, Oliver

  8. I’ve just discovered via my own intellectual process that you should never phrase it as “eating a girl scout’s cookie box”

  9. No offense, but you are a stupid asshole.

  10. I’m intentionally going to bed without brushing my teeth because I spent the only energy I had left to stand by running back downstairs for cookies.

    Please don’t tell Dr Garcia, I’ll lose gameboy color privileges.

  11. One more goddamn cookie left. Nobody will respect you if you don’t finish a whole box of Girl Scout cookies in a single day.

    Oh, okay.

  12. LOST dreams

    We finished watching all of LOST in less than 2 weeks. I don’t care what you think, that’s an impressive feat. I can’t sleep so I rolled over to ask Jami if she could and she started whispering like The Others in her sleep. Fucking creepy weirdo. She’s my constant. #gayyyy

  13. "Drinking night"

    In our heyday (last year) we’d be visiting the liquor store daily. Now “drinking night” means getting half way through our first drink and passing out on the couch watching tv.

    Also, excuse any typos, I shattered my phone screen yesterday and can’t see all the letters through the spider web. Pretty pissed about that.

  14. Adores naked lady window stickers. Can’t read. Probably small penis. Ladies?

    Adores naked lady window stickers. Can’t read. Probably small penis. Ladies?

  15. Does “watching netflix” actually mean “watching netflix”?

    BECAUSE NETFLIX SUCKS. I started a 2 week trial a little while back and couldn’t cancel it fast enough. If all of you that use “watching netflix” in self deprecating jokes actually watch and pay for netflix, I’m dumbfounded. I couldn’t find one single thing I was looking for. It wasn’t even off the wall shit, it was popular movies, albeit 6-10 years old and tv shows approximately the same age. How how how do people pay money for this shit. You’ll find me paying for a streaming service when the entertainment industry finally gets its head out of its ass and starts offering live programming without having to pay for cable on top of it.

  16.  
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