1. NOT PENNY’S BOAT

    NOT PENNY’S BOAT

  2. Probably gonna spring for one that has “Windbuster technology” which “allows wind to pass through the umbrella canopy in high wind situations.” 

Adulthood is very lame.

    Probably gonna spring for one that has “Windbuster technology” which “allows wind to pass through the umbrella canopy in high wind situations.”

    Adulthood is very lame.

  3. jamiwithani:

Hey guys, Joe has expressed interest in continuously loving me until the day he dies.

I love antiques and probably bookmarked a hundred rings that I loved, but he went off the grid and found this one on his own. I couldn’t love it anymore, even if I had a secret hinged compartment to store my drugs. Not like street crank or anything, but maybe like fancy old lady heart pills or something. He could check his pocket watch and be all: “baby, it’s 4:00, time for your blood pressure pill”. And I’d just snort it straight off my finger with a fancy, 24k gold gilded straw I keep in my brazier.

Alas, it is but a simple ring. One that I couldn’t possibly be anymore in love with unless it was the person who put it on my finger. 

The romantic obsession I have with everything vintage is history. Maybe it wasn’t pulled from the water logged finger of a victim from the Titanic, but,
MAYBE IT WAS.

It took me months of hard mouse clicking to finally find the perfect ring. Keeping a secret like that from the person you love most in the world is torture, but when I was kneeling in front of her, ring box in hand, with her fist half way through my chest and her “SHUT UP”s coursing throughout my eardrums, it all became worth it.Me: *opens ring box*Her: *punches me in chest*Her: SHUT UP. SHUT UP. SHUT UP.Her *second blow to chest*Her: SHUT UP!Me: Is that a yes?Her: That’s a yes.

    jamiwithani:

    Hey guys, Joe has expressed interest in continuously loving me until the day he dies.

    I love antiques and probably bookmarked a hundred rings that I loved, but he went off the grid and found this one on his own. I couldn’t love it anymore, even if I had a secret hinged compartment to store my drugs. Not like street crank or anything, but maybe like fancy old lady heart pills or something. He could check his pocket watch and be all: “baby, it’s 4:00, time for your blood pressure pill”. And I’d just snort it straight off my finger with a fancy, 24k gold gilded straw I keep in my brazier.

    Alas, it is but a simple ring. One that I couldn’t possibly be anymore in love with unless it was the person who put it on my finger.

    The romantic obsession I have with everything vintage is history. Maybe it wasn’t pulled from the water logged finger of a victim from the Titanic, but,
    MAYBE IT WAS.

    It took me months of hard mouse clicking to finally find the perfect ring. Keeping a secret like that from the person you love most in the world is torture, but when I was kneeling in front of her, ring box in hand, with her fist half way through my chest and her “SHUT UP”s coursing throughout my eardrums, it all became worth it.

    Me: *opens ring box*
    Her: *punches me in chest*
    Her: SHUT UP. SHUT UP. SHUT UP.
    Her *second blow to chest*
    Her: SHUT UP!
    Me: Is that a yes?
    Her: That’s a yes.

  4. LISTEN I KNOW YOU’RE RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF SOMETHING PRETTY IMPORTANT BUT I JUST WANTED TO ASK IF MAYBE YOU COULD FEED ME AGAIN. LISTEN, I KNOW THAT I ATE DINNER TWO HOURS AGO AND THAT I’VE BEEN KIND OF A DICK LATELY BUT I TOTALLY PROMISE THAT IF YOU GIVE ME SOMETHING TO EAT I’LL LEAVE YOU ALONE UNTIL I’M DONE EATING THAT. ARE YOU SERIOUSLY NOT GOING TO MOVE? I SAID PLEASE. OH, MAYBE I DIDN’T, BUT I MEANT PLEASE. HEY DO YOU REMEMBER THAT TIME TWENTY MINUTES AGO WHEN I WENT OUTSIDE AND CAME BACK IN COVERED NINETY PERCENT IN  MUD? YOU WERE PISSED, THAT WAS FUNNY, GOOD TIMES. SO, ABOUT THAT COOKIE YOU WERE JUST TALKING ABOUT GIVING ME.

    LISTEN I KNOW YOU’RE RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF SOMETHING PRETTY IMPORTANT BUT I JUST WANTED TO ASK IF MAYBE YOU COULD FEED ME AGAIN. LISTEN, I KNOW THAT I ATE DINNER TWO HOURS AGO AND THAT I’VE BEEN KIND OF A DICK LATELY BUT I TOTALLY PROMISE THAT IF YOU GIVE ME SOMETHING TO EAT I’LL LEAVE YOU ALONE UNTIL I’M DONE EATING THAT. ARE YOU SERIOUSLY NOT GOING TO MOVE? I SAID PLEASE. OH, MAYBE I DIDN’T, BUT I MEANT PLEASE. HEY DO YOU REMEMBER THAT TIME TWENTY MINUTES AGO WHEN I WENT OUTSIDE AND CAME BACK IN COVERED NINETY PERCENT IN MUD? YOU WERE PISSED, THAT WAS FUNNY, GOOD TIMES. SO, ABOUT THAT COOKIE YOU WERE JUST TALKING ABOUT GIVING ME.

  5. I’m a professional wall painter/pot smoker. Just kidding, I’m a website developer, look at how girly my hands are.

    I’m a professional wall painter/pot smoker. Just kidding, I’m a website developer, look at how girly my hands are.

  6. btothed:

This is heavy, Doc.

There’s that word again, heavy. Why is everything so heavy in the future? Is there something wrong with the earth’s vegetational consumption?

    btothed:

    This is heavy, Doc.

    There’s that word again, heavy. Why is everything so heavy in the future? Is there something wrong with the earth’s vegetational consumption?

    (Source: dnabars)

  7. Finally, something useful.

    Finally, something useful.

  8. I wish I would have known they were lesbians before I spent all that money on a second bed.

    I wish I would have known they were lesbians before I spent all that money on a second bed.

  9. Walking with muscular dystrophy is swag city.

  10. jamiwithani:

Hi I’m here for the Arcade Fire

You can’t see her but Amanda’s hunched over the bar in the background ordering another drink #edgellace

    jamiwithani:

    Hi I’m here for the Arcade Fire

    You can’t see her but Amanda’s hunched over the bar in the background ordering another drink #edgellace
  11. jamiwithani:

    "Only gays and retards go by their full name, ever notice that?"

    -most definitely not me

    Daniel, Richard, Michael, Jeffrey, Jonathan, Lucas, Oliver

  12. I’ve just discovered via my own intellectual process that you should never phrase it as “eating a girl scout’s cookie box”

  13. No offense, but you are a stupid asshole.

  14. I’m intentionally going to bed without brushing my teeth because I spent the only energy I had left to stand by running back downstairs for cookies.

    Please don’t tell Dr Garcia, I’ll lose gameboy color privileges.

  15. One more goddamn cookie left. Nobody will respect you if you don’t finish a whole box of Girl Scout cookies in a single day.

    Oh, okay.

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