This is my first time parenting elf on the shelf. *drops mic*
"You’re new to the neighborhood and it’s thanksgiving time, so this is for you, welcome to the neighborhood!"
Goddammit old people are the best. Old as in “was already living across the street when your house was built 50 years ago while the country was mourning the death of JFK” old.
Sick day for me, errryday for her.
that is not a bench (at Cleveland Hopkins International Airport (CLE))
How depressing is this day amirite (at Dallas/Fort Worth International Airport (DFW))
byebye. (at In-N-Out Burger)
Some beats to tingle your box.
Calm down with the embrace, bro, you’re at a concert, not an orgy. (at The Altar Bar)
Apparently it’s selfie in the hotel room time. (at Omni William Penn Hotel)
Being awake alone stinks.
I wasn’t emotional about this whole moving thing until today, almost 2 months after we moved.
I went to sign the closing papers today for the sale of what was my first home. I didn’t live there long, in fact most of you may remember when I moved in, but time isn’t the be-all and end-all of attachment.
I met the love of my life while living in this house and together we transformed it into a home. That sounds gay and cliche, but seriously we increased the value by tens of thousands of dollars and it sold to the first person that saw it.
As I was turning around to drive back to my new home, I drove by the old one just in time to watch the happy new couple and their now 2 week old baby get out of the car and walk into THEIR home for the first time. I started crying, not because I missed it, but because I’m so damn proud of what we accomplished in the past 18 months. Also, I’m super pumped to have a huge check in my pocket and to not be paying two mortgages anymore.
Today we adopted a beautiful new reason to post pictures to Internet places. She’s lazy and derpy looking so she fits in just fine. #STELLA
I think my favorite part about America is sitting on my ass watching a woman do work